I have recently made a world changing discovery about how weather works. All that complicated balderdash about warm fronts, barometric pressure, cloud formation, precipitation patterns, evaporation rates and so on, is just a semi-secret welfare program for meteorologists. Here's how the weather really works:
If lots of girls wear pretty dresses, the sun comes out!
If lots of people open up umbrellas and hold them over their heads, it rains!
If you pay attention on any given day you can see that this is obviously true.
Don't get me wrong; I got nothing against meteorologists or anything. I've always thought they had rather a crummy lot in life - being forced all the time to talk about the weather because there are almost never any meteors. They go to school all those years studying meteors and then they get outta school and surprise(!!!) never any darn meteors. I mean - you know - hardly ever any. So, just like the rest of us do when there is nothing interesting to talk about, they talk about the weather instead.
I think it's super nice that the TV and radio stations pay them money to talk about the weather and stuff, but really it's just not efficient and needs to stop. And someone needs to clue in the universities so they stop training so many of them, now that my revelation has made them obsolete.
Anyone have any suggestions about what to do with all the soon-to-be out of work meteorologists?
Don't get me wrong; I got nothing against meteorologists or anything. I've always thought they had rather a crummy lot in life - being forced all the time to talk about the weather because there are almost never any meteors. They go to school all those years studying meteors and then they get outta school and surprise(!!!) never any darn meteors. I mean - you know - hardly ever any. So, just like the rest of us do when there is nothing interesting to talk about, they talk about the weather instead.
I think it's super nice that the TV and radio stations pay them money to talk about the weather and stuff, but really it's just not efficient and needs to stop. And someone needs to clue in the universities so they stop training so many of them, now that my revelation has made them obsolete.
Anyone have any suggestions about what to do with all the soon-to-be out of work meteorologists?
-j
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